Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Welcome to Sillypore

sin ka po rians........
1. Thanks to SMS, you have an extra large thumb
2. Tks 2 SMS, u oso dun no how 2 spel anymor.
3. You pat bus seats and even MRT seats to cool them before you sit down.
4. At lunch, you start discussing what to eat for dinner.
5. Your wedding photos include shots of you dressed up like Louis XIV,
6. When speaking to foreigners, you somehow feel a need to adopt an accent.
7. You won't raise your voice to protest policies, but you'll raise your fists to whack someone over Hello Kitty.
8. You're forever talking about businesses you want to set up but will probably never get around to starting.
9. You don't know 3/4 of the people attending your wedding.
10. You separate food into 2 basic groups: 'heaty' and 'cooling'.
11. You think that what makes you 'married' is not the legal registration but whether you've thrown a 12 course dinner.
12. You marry for the real estate breaks.
13. You have kids for the tax advantages.
14. You move to where you want your child to go to school.
15. You force your children to take Speech & Drama classes, but pray they won't wind up in Arts later on.
16. You suddenly realize you're very interested in biotech - just like you suddenly realized three years ago that you were very interested in e-commerce,and before that, engineering, and before that, medicine and law
17. You think people are inconsiderate when they don't leave their table mmediately after eating at the food court but think you have every right to take 25 bites to finish the last red bean in your ice kachang.
18. You find it impossible to make suggestions without drawing a fishbone chart first.
19. If you're a guy, whenever you get together with your guy friends, you invariably trade army stories.
20. You think the most important sporting event in Singapore this year was David Beckham switching from Real Madrid to the US.
21. You've eaten more times at the Esplanade than you've actually seen shows there.
22. You need campaigns to tell you how to be courteous, to flush toilets, have sex, etc.
23. You always feel oddly hungry at 11 pm , and are willing to drive to far away places for supper.
24. You work at McDonald's when you're old rather than young.
25. You'll gladly spend $50,000 on a car, but will go to great lengths to save a few bucks on ERP charges or even a few cents on a parking coupon.
26. If you're pregnant, you have the strange ability to make people on the MRT fall asleep instantly.
27. You've started referring to foreign employees as 'talent' instead of 'expatriates'.
28. At the dinner table, you're always discussing which other food places serve better versions of what you're eating.
29. You copy down licence plate numbers of cars involved in accidents.
30. You think your boyfriend doesn't really love you unless he gives you part of his liver.
31. You pronounce the letter 'R' as 'ah-rer' and the letter 'H' as 'haytch'.
32. No matter how old you are, you keep associating people with their secondary schools. (alternative: No matter how old you are, you secretly need to know what other people got for their PSLE, O levels and A levels.)
33. You believe that you can generate 'creativity' through rules and committees.
34. You 'chope' a seat by placing a packet of tissues on the chair.
35. You diligently track the whereabouts of your favourite hawkers, i.e. you know that the famous Tiong Bahru Bao is now in Jurong, the famous Outram Char Kuay Teow is now in Hong Lim Centre and the famous Lau Hock Kien Hokkien mee from the old Lau Pa Sat is now at Beach Road.
36. You think we're living in a modern, sophisticated country even when our leaders still insist on wearing their white school uniforms.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Smash!!

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
Damn fierce ang moh auntie.....

Monday, August 20, 2007

HDB 81




wah , someone spotted this fella having some "atas block" fun.....confirm must be learn from shaun... wonder if he also has the "through the pants" skill......

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Corporate Lessons

I guess I'll be needing some tips before I go out to the working world!

Mgt Lesson:
Johnny wanted to have sex with a girl in his office,but she belonged to someone else...

One day, Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said, "I'll give you a $100 if you let me screw you. But the girl said NO. Johnny said, "I'll be fast. I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, and I'll be finished by the time you pick it up. "

She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend... So she called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend says, "Ask him for $200, pick up the money very fast, he won't even be able to get his pants down."

So she agrees and accepts the proposal. Half an hour goes by, and the boyfriend is waiting for his girlfriend to call. Finally, after 45 minutes, the boyfriend calls and asks what happened. She responded, "The b@st@rd used coins!"


Management lesson: Always consider a business proposal in its entirety before agreeing to it and getting screwed!

Corporate Lesson 1

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob,the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel." After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor, " she replies. "Great!" the husband says, "Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"

Moral of the story: - If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Corporate Lesson2

A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said,"Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand.

But,changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."

Moral of the story: - If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Corporate Lesson 3

A sales rep and a administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish." "Me first! Me first!" says the admin. clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof! She's gone. "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Poof! He's gone. "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

Moral of the story: - Always let your boss have the first say.

Corporate Lesson 4

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked him,"Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered: - "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story: - To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up.

Corporate Lesson 5

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Moral of the story: - Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

Friday, July 27, 2007

Saturday, June 23, 2007

Muay Thai Demo at Suntec

combat academy had a demo at suntec today, and i did some thai padwork ... havent been training very hard recently for various reasons... haizz..... you can see from the vid i m growing sideways n damn unfit, twas tiring for me.... lol... better buck up...... also... i just registered for my class 2B license so i'm damn broke now... dont be shy to donate some moolah to me if any of you got spare..... =)


Monday, June 18, 2007

Combat Academy

Combat Academy trailer, where I train. Brilliant stuff!

Friday, June 08, 2007

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Thank God for WWE

Baby almost got robbed on the way to my place last week.... thank God she's a WWE and Kurt Angle fan..... instinctively, she managed to hold on to her bag and lay an Angle Slam on his candy ass!!!








Footage from security camera




Sunday, May 20, 2007

Best Anniversary Present Ever!!!

HAPPY 9TH ANNIVERSARY BABY!!!!

sending you flying kisses all the way to Osaka now, go open your window!

the best gift ever!! the FA cup win!!! remember '97 and '00 like it was yesterday...... robby got both goals n they were also 1-0 wins haha.....

7 yrs is a long wait but what a goal and what a performance to make it all worth while!

DOUBLE CHAMPIONS CHELSEA 2006/2007

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Sometimes when I'm alone
I wonder aloud
If you're watching over me
Some place far abound
I must reverse my life
I can't live in the past
Then set my soul free
Belong to me at last

Monday, May 14, 2007

Dumped by GF



how to deal with it:

Sunday, May 06, 2007

Real Battle Between 2 Kung Fu Masters Back in 1953

This is a classic fight between Ng Style Tai Chi Master Ng Gong Yee and White Crane Ryu Kung Fu Master Chun Huck Fu in Macau 1953.

I am pretty sure i've seen an exact reenactment of this fight outside ZOUK n probably in Serangoon Gardens before!

Saturday, May 05, 2007

Fedor the (Martial) Artist

unbelievable... i'm sure you guys know all about Fedor Emelianenko... but here's a side of him that really gave me a pleasant shock... Apparently, he likes art and drawing in his free time, and posted some of his drawings on his website...

Heres a look into the mind of arguably the best fighter in the world...



Fedors Artwork:


































you probably be mistaking him for a 7 yr old little girl now and doubting if he really fights for a living haha... heres Fedor outside the ring in the days leading to his fight against Cro Cop.



And finally, heres Fedor at his very best, doing what he REALLY does for a living... serious.

Monday, April 30, 2007

Wake Up Call

i'm 9 days away from my exams and i havent even yet got down to studying!! oh man, i hope the urgency kicks in before its too late.....

football match yesterday was cancelled last minute, so went to IHM for mass with gerard, mike and pat... and seeing how mike was so casual and spontaneous in going for Confession... it somehow helped me muster enough courage to go too...

the last time i confessed, i was still in sec 4 and it was in school when FR Simon Pereirra visited..... since then i've always wanted to go but have been too cowardly to go hahaa

anyway, am very glad i managed to get it done, although it wasnt a very good one as i couldnt quite recall all my past bad deeds in such a short time.... penance is a whole rosary which i havent got down to doing, but plan to do so tonight .... (aparently according to mike this is the most he's ever heard anyone got.. shows what a bad boy ive been plus i only confessed those sins that came to mind)

unfortunately, after mass we went over to tiamo and i got myself drunk after a few bottles of wine hahaa.... damn.... so much for confession though i guess drinking is not really such a bad sin (i hope).... been doing some social smoking now and i'm resolving today to STOP! it may be study and exam time which means not much training but still i plan to resume training intensively once exams are over and the social smoking is not helping me one bit! since i'm at it i might as well stop binge drinking too.... anyway i should be studying right..... which reminds me i had better clean the cobwebs off my books and finally open them.....

Happy 21st Bday to CJH!

and oh ya b4 i forget heres a blog of one of my long time friends, kept forgetting to link it.... everyone knows him as PONTACK hahaa... he is famous for his multiple orgasms and for 'shifting beds from one end of the room to the other' exercises..... he is Singapore's Ron Jeremy so girls, dont be shy to ask me for his number.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

IRON MIKE ZAMBIDIS

iron mike zambidis from Greece! born 1980, he's a small fighter too at only 1.67m, always up against bigger and taller opponents but he pawns them! I love his overhand! it seems its his killer move... haha gonna try and imitate his moves man!

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

guys, treat your women right!

I never quite figured out why the sexual urges of men and women differ so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.

I have never figured out why men think with their head(s) and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel
like it, I just want you to hold me."


I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man."


She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who
I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"


Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch at Lawrie's and then went shopping at this huge department store in town.

I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all.

She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond
earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I
was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was
almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with
excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier!"


I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel
like it."


Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,
"WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're
just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy
your shopping needs as a woman."


And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,
"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch
knows I'm smarter than her.

Saturday, April 21, 2007

Real Life Ghost Catching On Video

This is interesting..... old uncle is a medium trying to catch a spirit in the house..... notice how he trap the spirit into the auntie's body b4 catching it (3:14)... apparently the spirit run to the auntie as she is the weakest? lol


Real Life Ghost Catching - Never Seen On Metacafe (1st Hand) - More free videos are here

Friday, April 20, 2007

Messidona

This is amazing!!

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

uncle quotes

Well guess is time to close the chapter with nothing worth explaining or whatsoever.Keep it to yourself..Why do i have to hear it from others first rather then yourself?
time to go on.